Is it time to cut the cord?

You look into their eyes and see your whole world.

The bond is even stronger than your survival instinct.

Words alone cannot capture the essence and depth of your feelings.

Still, you know it’s time to let them go…

Can you relate?

I know perfectly well what it’s like when youlet your beloved child go off on their own to explore the world. Sooner or later we all experience the time when they turn into an adult, and spread their own wings.

It’s natural. It’s inevitable.

Suddenly we face a choice: to cling or to let go.

We know that letting go with full trust in their abilities is the best thing we can do for our children.

And it’s damn hard to do!

This I know for a fact… as I’m going throughit right now ;)

How do you know it’s time to cut the “umbilical cord” and let the kid spread their wings? Some would say it’s when they celebrate their18th birthday or finish their studies. Others just continue taking careof them until the “kid” has their own family. And some people just never let go. Have you noticed how many people remain psychologically, emotionally and mentally connected in pretty much the same way they were when they were children? Ever seen a mid age man turning into a small boy while talking to his mother ?

A few months ago me and my daughter started to feel that the time was upon us for her to leave the nest; we have talked about it a lot and consciously agreed to cut the cord. When my daughter decided to live abroad I completely supported it. I was actually impressed to see the courage and enthusiasm she had for this great adventure. As we are going through this process many questions came to mind…andI’d like to sharesome of them with you:

How to unconditionally love my child without interfering with her plans, dreams and potential life tracks?

How to best let her go without attachment while keeping on loving her unconditionally and with no expectations?

How to give up control over her safety, comfort, and life decisions?

Of course, it’s especially hard for a mother..! After all, you gave birth to them, gave them your milk, care and attention. You also experienced many sleepless nights together, compassionately feeling their pain, illness or broken heart. Soothing them when they awoke from a nightmare, or before their final exams…You have no idea how or when it happened that your child has grown up and reached the point where they need to have their own experiences in life without your support or interference. Can we let go with our blessings? How can we keep the space of a loving presence with no fear or expectation?

So I ask myself:

As a coach…what would I do if someone asks for help in such a situation?

Perhaps I’d simply invite them redefine the new stage in life that they are entering and how to focus on it positively:

What’s the opportunity here?

How’s this experience unique and precious?

What can we both learn from this? What other good can come out ofit?

Instead of viewing the experience of my child leaving the nest as sad and potentially painful I realized a better definition:

This is the only way that she will be able to fulfill her own life purpose as a creative being, and to find love with her future partner and one day to experience being a mother herself.

Suddenly, it’s clear that the greatest gift I can give to her is to love her exactly the way she is. By giving her a complete freedom to make decisions while reflecting back the light of her bright mind, creative spirit, loving heart and beautiful soul I can be the mother she most needs at the moment. And by living an inspired and happy life I might inspire her to find her own place to shine and thrive..!

As always, the only real moment to act is Now.

So I better stop watching youtube and turn off the ipad.

Now that my kid is gone it might be the best time to start playing new games :)

With love and appreciation to all the parents out there,

Jana